Template:Did you know nominations/Thomas Shaughnessy, 1st Baron Shaughnessy
- The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.
The result was: rejected by Ohc ¡digame! 07:22, 27 July 2014 (UTC)
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Thomas Shaughnessy, 1st Baron Shaughnessy[edit]
- ... that former office clerk and Milwaukee alderman Tom Shaughnessy, son of a Irish immigrant policeman who'd fled the Great Potato Famine, would eventually become Thomas Shaughnessy, 1st Baron Shaughnessy, a member of the Peerage of the United Kingdom?
5x expanded by Orangemike (talk). Self nominated at 20:51, 21 June 2014 (UTC).
Failed on the first check. Expansion is only 4.8X (2,350B → 11,320B), not the minimum 5.
Other than that, the article appears well-written and promising, but I didn't check any further. Maybe Orangemike would like to expand the article a little more? --BrownHairedGirl (talk) • (contribs) 22:21, 30 June 2014 (UTC)
- Alas, I feel that to do so would be to artificially pad it for the sake of getting a DYK placed. I decline to do that. --Orange Mike | Talk 00:21, 1 July 2014 (UTC)
- On further consideration, I've added a bit here and there that I'd omitted before, drawing on the ODNB article mostly. Does it hit 5X?--Orange Mike | Talk 01:20, 1 July 2014 (UTC)
- @Orangemike: Yes, it definitely exceeds 5X now. Good work.
However, please note: WP:DYKAR#D2 "The article in general should use inline, cited sources. A rule of thumb is one inline citation per paragraph, excluding the intro, plot summaries, and paragraphs which summarize other cited content." This article has more than 10 uncited paras. --BrownHairedGirl (talk) • (contribs) 01:59, 1 July 2014 (UTC)
- @Orangemike: Yes, it definitely exceeds 5X now. Good work.
- ALT1 ... that former office clerk and Milwaukee alderman Tom Shaughnessy, son of an Irish immigrant policeman who'd fled the Great Potato Famine, eventually became Thomas Shaughnessy, 1st Baron Shaughnessy, a Peer of the United Kingdom?
I'm astounded no purists have shown up to tsk-tsk about who'd being a contraction, but this is a good example of where it's A-OK to use one, IMO. EEng (talk) 21:52, 12 July 2014 (UTC)
- Update review. Article is now 5 x expanded, as discussed and agreed above. The expansion began recently enough. No QPQ required for this nominator. Article images are free. The article text is objective and neutral. Issues: (1) 13 paragraphs contain no inline citations. (2) The original hook has 249 characters and ALT1 has 227, excluding the ellipsis, counted with this gadget. The minimum is 200. (3) Because the hook is not repeated in its entirety into the article with its necessary row of inline citations, and because there are so few cited sentences, let alone paragraphs, in the article, it is not easy for a reviewer to verify the hook, let alone a casual reader. I have been able to verify most of it in online citation #3, but have not yet found verification for alderman or for his father fleeing the Irish 1840s famine. (4) Citation #10 is too slow for the broadband in my village, therefore unavailable to me - could someone please kindly check that it is not a deadlink? (5) Re possible sources of copyvio and close paraphrasing, the following extracts are duplicated from the source:
he was convinced that given the opportunity suppliers contractors carriers workers and anyone else would cheat the company constant vigilance was essential everything had to be done in accordance with the many rules and regulations he introduced he delighted in tracing even minor transgressions and then publicly humiliating the perpetrators usually in writing to ensure that the information became a part of the permanent record even the (citation #3 duplicate)
most trusted contractors and senior officials were exposed to his wrath if in their efforts to get necessary work done on time they paid prices higher than was deemed appropriate or if they failed in any other way to follow his system (citation #3 duplicate)
shaughnessy represented the cpr on the boards of major financial institutions with which it had extensive dealings including the bank of montreal the royal trust company the accident insurance company of north america and the guarantee company of north america he (citation #3 duplicate)
on the milwaukee road van horne left the milwaukee road to become general manager of the (citation #3 duplicate, with close paraphrasing either side)
there were rumours that he might be named governor general of the irish free state (citation #3 duplicate)
There is a load more of this from the same source; I am not going to bother to copy more of this out, or to check the other sources. --Storye book (talk) 09:29, 18 July 2014 (UTC)expensive but vital line north of lake superior to the federal government which could (citation #3 duplicate with close paraphrasing either side)
- Summary: This article has a major copyvio problem, and requires a complete re-write, in my opinion. So until or unless the copyvio can be removed and replaced, and the other 4 issues resolved, this is a no. --Storye book (talk) 09:29, 18 July 2014 (UTC)
- Update review. Article is now 5 x expanded, as discussed and agreed above. The expansion began recently enough. No QPQ required for this nominator. Article images are free. The article text is objective and neutral. Issues: (1) 13 paragraphs contain no inline citations. (2) The original hook has 249 characters and ALT1 has 227, excluding the ellipsis, counted with this gadget. The minimum is 200. (3) Because the hook is not repeated in its entirety into the article with its necessary row of inline citations, and because there are so few cited sentences, let alone paragraphs, in the article, it is not easy for a reviewer to verify the hook, let alone a casual reader. I have been able to verify most of it in online citation #3, but have not yet found verification for alderman or for his father fleeing the Irish 1840s famine. (4) Citation #10 is too slow for the broadband in my village, therefore unavailable to me - could someone please kindly check that it is not a deadlink? (5) Re possible sources of copyvio and close paraphrasing, the following extracts are duplicated from the source:
On July 12, I posted to Orangemike's talk page that there were major issues with unsourced sections in the article, and nothing has been done to address them as required for DYK. The copyvios, however, are far more concerning, and nothing has been done about them either. I see no alternative but to close this nomination as unsuccessful. BlueMoonset (talk) 17:35, 26 July 2014 (UTC)
