Template:Did you know nominations/James Underdown

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The following discussion is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Crisco 1492 (talk) 06:08, 11 September 2011 (UTC)

James Underdown[edit]

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James Underdown at work at CFI West

Created by Sgerbic (talk). Self nom at 23:32, 31 August 2011 (UTC)

  • Hook: Seems okay.
  • Sourcing: A few paragraphs are unreferenced, and other pieces are referenced to unreliable sources such as Imdb. Better secondary sourcing is required, particularly to balance the self-promotional feel of the page.
  • Copy-paste: I removed one instance of copy-paste from the source - the rest needs review by the nominator.
  • Overall: Length and date of creation okay. Have reformatted a bit. Truthkeeper (talk) 21:17, 1 September 2011 (UTC)
  • Comment: bolded the title and copyedited a little. Should it be U-boat or U-Boat? Needs to match the article and the reference. -IceCreamAntisocial (talk) 12:31, 2 September 2011 (UTC)
  • Comment: It is U-Boat. This is the first time I've submitted a DYK and am not sure how to know if this article is going to pass through this process. Because I know the clock is ticking on this submission I have removed the paragraph that had the imbd cite, will look for better references but probably won't find them in time for the DYK. Is there something else you need from me? Sgerbic (talk) 04:00, 5 September 2011 (UTC)
  • Everything needs to be referenced and there are still some paragraphs that don't have references. Either provide references for them, or if that's impossible then they should be removed. Make sure you've added this page to your watchlist. Truthkeeper (talk) 13:10, 5 September 2011 (UTC)
Better? Sgerbic (talk) 15:01, 5 September 2011 (UTC)
It's going in the right direction, but there are still paragraphs without citations. Also, anything that's in the lead not repeated in the body has to be cited. Truthkeeper (talk) 23:56, 5 September 2011 (UTC)
Thank you Truthkeeper88, I'm hoping this final edit is what was needed? Sgerbic (talk) 01:59, 6 September 2011 (UTC)
I'm about to log out, but will have a look after work tomorrow. At a brief glance it looks like it's almost there, but I did notice an uncited sentence at the very end of the lead. Truthkeeper (talk) 02:33, 6 September 2011 (UTC)
Its Gone!Sgerbic (talk) 02:52, 6 September 2011 (UTC)
Still a few more places that aren't cited. At any event I've requested someone else to finish this review - mostly because of time commitments on my part, and for reason having nothing to do with you or this article. Good luck. Truthkeeper (talk) 20:21, 6 September 2011 (UTC)
  • I would suggest turning "James Underdown in the Media" into regular prose. It looks like a trivia section when written as a list. Crisco 1492 (talk) 00:12, 7 September 2011 (UTC)
Thank you Truthkeeper88 and Crisco, I hope this looks better and we are ready to roll? Sgerbic (talk) 17:52, 8 September 2011 (UTC)
  • I'm not quite convinced of Mr. Underdown's notability; half the biography is about his ventures, not him himself. Greater in-depth coverage of him would work very well. Crisco 1492 (talk) 12:17, 9 September 2011 (UTC)
I'm added a lot of references. Sgerbic (talk) 00:02, 10 September 2011 (UTC)
  • Seems to satisfy WP:GNG. Generally the article is good, but I am worried about the tone and a bit about the referencing. References should go at the end of the sentence they support, not at the end of the paragraph. Regarding the tone, stuff like "An excerpt of Underdown's "Owed (sic) to Calumet City" might explain why Calumet City's mayor stated "First of all, he`s a lousy poet ... It`s kind of cruddy, if you ask me. Second of all, I don`t know this man at all. He is not recognized by this community, and we don`t want to have anything to do with him."" does not seem encyclopedic. Perhaps "In response to Underdown's claim to being Calumet City's poet laureate, its mayor (name?) stated that Underwood was "a lousy poet" who was "not recognized by the community". Crisco 1492 (talk) 00:35, 10 September 2011 (UTC)
LOL I'm learning a lot from just this DYK submission. In college we were taught to save your footnotes to the end of the paragraph as it is distracting to the reader, so this will just be a habit change when editing WP. I also like the suggestion for changing the tone. Sgerbic (talk) 18:55, 10 September 2011 (UTC)
  • Looks good now. On Wikipedia, sentences can be added to a paragraph by anyone; if everything is at the end of the paragraph, it makes it impossible to tell what is cited and what isn't. Keeping the referencing with the sentences supported is generally more compliant with our policy for keeping content verifiable. Mind you, it ends up looking rather ... different... when you are citing the same reference back and forth. Check out the first paragraph of Melly Goeslaw's biography for an example. Crisco 1492 (talk) 23:55, 10 September 2011 (UTC)
Good to know Crisco, I've learned quite a lot from all the comments. Now what happens? Sgerbic (talk) 04:07, 11 September 2011 (UTC)
  • The easiest part of the whole process: wait. Shouldn't be long. Crisco 1492 (talk) 04:18, 11 September 2011 (UTC)
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