Template:Did you know nominations/Deng Adut

The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Cwmhiraeth (talk) 07:19, 6 February 2017 (UTC)

Deng Adut[edit]

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~~... that despite being shot in the back and witnessing countless atrocities as a child soldier in South Sudan, Deng Adut is now a successful defence lawyer?~~ Sources:"Deng Adut on being a child soldier, moving to Australia and dealing with racism". 7.30. Australian Broadcasting Corporation. 25 October 2016. "At six, Deng was taken from his mother. Marched 33 days to Ethiopia. Forced to fight with the Rebels. At twelve, he was shot in the back. [...] DENG ADUT: Horror, horror. Starting from the journey when I started travelling from South Sudan to Ethiopia, it was horror. Seeing people dying, kids dying, people dying from thirst. People getting shot on the way; "Former child soldier wins NSW Law Society President's Medal". The Law Society of New South Wales. 28 October 2016. Deng is a committed lawyer with a strong sense of justice and service to the community.

Reviewed: None – my first article and first atttempt at audited content

Created by Adrian J. Hunter (talk). Self-nominated at 01:09, 30 January 2017 (UTC).

[Note: although the review is lengthy, there's not too much to do to get this promoted.] Nominated three days after creation, and of sufficient length to satisfy DYK criteria. QPQ not required. I am assuming good faith for source "Deng Adut's path from child soldier to model citizen" (ref 7), as I cannot access it. Please add page numbers to citations from book (source 1), as I am having trouble finding the supporting evidence cited. (For example, I cannot find the quotation in the first paragraph of the "Recognition" section.) I cannot find mention of cartoons in source 3. The sources for jobs don't mention furniture (or did I miss it?); it does mention windows and doors, though, in addition to those already listed. The citation for "Adut co-founded AC Law Group and is still a partner" supports only "...still a partner" (ref 4 supports this, though). The last sentence in the second and third paragraphs of the "Recognition" section both have a quotation with no citation; all quotations must have citations. (You probably want ref 10 and ref 4 respectively.) Don't use acronyms that have not yet been explained (NSW); the first instance should have a link to New South Wales preceding it. If the award is actually called "NSW Australian of the Year", then find another way to convey this information. All other text is OK, with no copyvio or close paraphrasing issues. Hook is OK, but the article only supports "lawyer", not "defence lawyer" (the intro does not cite sources); perhaps tweak "In Australia" section, with citation to source 5, or better yet try Deng Thiak Adut: Australia was 'a place that was as strange to me as Neptune may be to you' (captioned image) or the press release Defense Lawyer and Refugee Advocate Deng Thiak Adut to Deliver 2016 Australia Day Address. Overall, a good read which requires a few citations and tweaks to get promoted. Mind matrix 21:27, 2 February 2017 (UTC)

Many thanks Mindmatrix for the meticulous review.

Ref 7 – Doh, that ref became subscription-only since I used it. Not archived by Wayback Machine, hadn't thought to WebCite (would probably have been blocked anyway), don't think there's anything I can do.
Page numbers – This is incredibly annoying, but I can't find the page numbers! I bought a digital copy, but the only supported display mode is "flowing text", not "original pages". Two-page spreads frequently have page numbers stated as, eg, 116-118 (spans three numbers), presumably because the virtual pages in the e-text don't match the real pages in the paper edition. Based on WorldCat there's no paper copy in any library in my state. I might be able to order it in through uni, but that could take weeks. If you like I can add the approximate page numbers based on the e-text, though that might be confusing to readers. The quotation you refer to is in the caption of a picture on approximately page 140.
Cartoons – it was actually The Wiggles. Clarified and ref added.
Furniture – I was using "furniture" as shorthand for "windows and doors", which I realise now is inaccurate. Fixed.
Co-founder – added ref 4.
Quotes – moved relevant refs to end of quotes instead of preceding sentences.
NSW – wrote in full, which at least one of the sources does.
Hook – re-worded and added press release as ref.

I'm not sure whether a shorter hook would be better. Maybe something like "... that, though a former child soldier, Deng Adut is now a successful defence lawyer?"

Adrian J. Hunter^{(talk•contribs)} 13:17, 3 February 2017 (UTC)

ALT1: ... that despite being shot in the back and witnessing atrocities as a child soldier in South Sudan, Deng Adut is now a successful defence lawyer?

Your changes look good. Regarding page numbers, for flowing text ebooks, you can use something like {{sfn}} and specifying |loc=chapter 2 or some such, at least to narrow it down a bit; this is not needed for the DYK nomination. (For the record, I only have access to chapter 1 of that source at Google Books.) I will assume good faith for refs 1 and 7. All other text is now OK. Hook is OK and all parts are now sourced. I've copied the hook as ALT1, removing links to south Sudan and defence lawyer, as these detract from the central subject, and I've removed "countless" as superfluous and somewhat subjective. Good to go for ALT1. Congratulations on your first DYK! Mind matrix 18:14, 3 February 2017 (UTC)