Talk:William Wurtenburg

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:William Wurtenburg/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: TonyTheTiger (talk · contribs) 16:47, 11 August 2014 (UTC)

• I will do this review.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 16:47, 11 August 2014 (UTC)

• According to the toolbox to the right there is one dead external link.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 21:53, 13 August 2014 (UTC)

• Added archived link.

• No disambiguation page issues.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 21:53, 13 August 2014 (UTC)

WP:LEAD

• I think the term Otolaryngology should be introduced in the LEAD.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 23:10, 13 August 2014 (UTC)

• Added.

Early life and college

• Use {{convert}} for twelve and eighteen feet to show metric.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 23:10, 13 August 2014 (UTC)

• Done.

• season closer sounds unencyclopedic.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 23:10, 13 August 2014 (UTC)

• Reworded simply to "season's final contest". Better?

1890s

• "Wurtenburg did not return to coach Navy the following year, being replaced by Matthew McClung." seems ungrammatical. Year is the closest noun to the subordinate clause starting with being. I don't really think you mean to say that the year was replaced.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 22:49, 15 August 2014 (UTC)

• Reworded. It now reads: "Wurtenburg did not remain at the Naval Academy the following year and was replaced as head coach by Matthew McClung." Is this better?

• Why is the wedding in the career section?--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 22:49, 15 August 2014 (UTC)

• I changed the title, since the section is really about his entire life after college. Is this alright?

1900s and death

• "One of his players would later state that" -Which one?--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 23:21, 15 August 2014 (UTC)

• Clarified.

• Is this Elm Street one of the Elm Streets with an article?--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 23:21, 15 August 2014 (UTC)

• No, although it likely could.

References

• remove the scroll bars.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 23:27, 15 August 2014 (UTC)

• Removed

Images

• All seem to be PD.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 23:42, 15 August 2014 (UTC)
• WP:CAPTION for File:Frank Barbour.jpg is not punctuated even though it seems to be a full sentence.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 23:45, 15 August 2014 (UTC)

• Punctuated.

• Revision history for File:Frank Barbour.jpg is odd. One file is saved over a completely different file, causing one to be lost. Make sure both are available at commons somehow.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 23:48, 15 August 2014 (UTC)
  • Is the hidden one so bad that it needed to be removed from the article. The article seems to have plenty of space for another picture.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 23:49, 15 August 2014 (UTC)

• I honestly have no clue what is going on with the picture. It was uploaded back in 2009, and it appears that User:Cbl62 found a better picture of Barbour and uploaded it over the original. I'll upload the old version to commons later today.

• I'll assume good faith.

• Make sure the first two files have {{personality rights}} tags even though they are very old images.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 23:48, 15 August 2014 (UTC)

• Personality rights added to Wurtenburg's picture. Barbour's image was uploaded here instead of the commons, so I have to wait until it is transferred to add personality rights.

• I am placing this on hold.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 15:32, 16 August 2014 (UTC)

• I believe I have addressed all of your concerns. Thanks for the review, and I apologize for how long it took me to respond. Thanks again, - Awardgive. Help out with Project Fillmore County 15:28, 28 August 2014 (UTC)

• Good job at responding to my concerns. I am Passing this article.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 19:58, 28 August 2014 (UTC)

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