Talk:Mary Meader/GA1

Quite an interesting article, and what seems to be a very interesting life. I enjoyed reading it.

Lead:

You may have an unintentional pun. "Aerial circles" reads rather humorous.
- Done. Editor of the wiki^{review my edits here!} 20:46, 30 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Why was her husband's book the second of its kind to be published? Rather, what kind of book was it? Please state it in the lead.
- Done Editor of the wiki^{review my edits here!} 20:46, 30 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Please link Kalamazoo, Michigan.
- Done Editor of the wiki^{review my edits here!} 20:46, 30 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Early life:

Please link to Upjohn Pharmaceuticals
- Done Editor of the wiki^{review my edits here!} 20:46, 30 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
What was her maiden name?
- Upjohn Editor of the wiki^{review my edits here!} 20:46, 30 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

The flight:

Please link to American Geographical Society.
- Done Editor of the wiki^{review my edits here!} 20:46, 30 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Magazine titles, such as Encore, should be in italics.
- Done Editor of the wiki^{review my edits here!} 20:46, 30 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
She wore only one boot? Why?
- Clarified Editor of the wiki^{review my edits here!} 20:46, 30 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Please explain how they had to get permission to photograph in South America. Did they have to ask wherever they went?
- No, several countries simply barred her from photographing for reasons stated in the article. Editor of the wiki^{review my edits here!} 20:46, 30 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Please link to monoplane.
- Done Editor of the wiki^{review my edits here!} 20:46, 30 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Watch for redundancy. "In addition" and "In all" are understood in the context of the sentences.
- Huh? Please elaborate? Editor of the wiki^{review my edits here!} 20:46, 30 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Later life and philanthropy

Please italicize The New York Times.
- Done Editor of the wiki^{review my edits here!} 20:46, 30 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
This: It was part of a tradition stretching back to the 1920s in which noted explorers are asked to place their signature on the Globe, of which Meader was the 79th. is an awkward sentence. Please consider splitting it in two, and replacing "stretching" with "spanning".
- Done Editor of the wiki^{review my edits here!} 20:46, 30 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Death

"Pre-deceased" is awkward. I suggest simply saying "a year after her husband's death".
- Done Editor of the wiki^{review my edits here!} 20:46, 30 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
If all that is to be included are these three sentences, it does not need its own section.
- Working on it Editor of the wiki^{review my edits here!} 20:46, 30 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

References:

I am very troubled with such a heavy reliance on one source. I get nervous when I cite a source more than five times. I believe you should be able to replace many of these with newspaper accounts or magazine stories. Some may be more difficult to find, but you would be surprised what newspaper websites will allow you to do. Don't underestimate the capacity of your local library either. I would search major newspapers and magazines in Michigan, and National Geographic's website. I noticed the article is not part of WP:MICH. If you're not in Kalamazoo or Michigan, I would suggest asking these folks for assistance. With more sources, I hope you will be able to expand the section on her early life.
- Working on it. By far, the NYT article is more comprehensive, though I'm sure there's more sources. Editor of the wiki^{review my edits here!} 20:46, 30 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

You have seven days to take care of these issues. Please reply here or on my talk page if you need clarification. Thank you and good luck. --Moni3 (talk) 21:51, 22 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Well, bummer. It's been seven days and no changes. I'm removing it from the list of GA nominees. --Moni3 (talk) 12:38, 29 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Dang. I completely forgot about this article. I will address your ideas and renominate. Editor of the wiki^{review my edits here!} 00:57, 30 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]