Talk:Detective Michael Tritter/GA1

GA Review[edit]

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Reviewing against the Good article criteria: Prose

Overall, pretty good, at least for GA quality, but there is a tendency to ramble in sentences, ex. "When Morse was on vacation with his family and a few friends he had known for a very long time, he told them about the phone call, his friends were very enthusiastic,". I'll list a detailed set of issues once the other issues are taken care of.

References

This is my main issue. Plot doesn't have to be expressly cited, so those citations can be removed and should be integrated into the prose (see 'Other concerns' below). Also, some citations appear to be used in a way indicative of original research, ex. "...while Tritter has an unconfirmed addiction to nicotine gum.[1][11]"
There's also issues with the references being used in a way that is not clear, examples: "said that Tritter deserved to have the thermometer in his butt a little longer." and the following sentence, which provide no context to the reader.
What makes the following sources cited reliable? [1][2][3]

Comprehensiveness

Has a sufficient lead and good coverage (development and reception) in addition to plot information.

Neutrality/Stability

No issues

Images

Image:TritterHousearrest.jpg ironically has a more thorough and detailed rationale than the lead image, but there's insufficient evidence that a second image of the character meets WP:NFCC. Remove whichever image you want, but one is enough unless you can provide a compelling reason for an additional one.

Other issues The section devoted to plot summary is both too detailed and not written from an out of universe perspective (see WP:WAF). Writing a character article which uses multiple episodes, etc. isn't like writing the plot section for a single episode. By taking out the references to episodes, you can solve some of this issue. Here's an example:

Current: The following day, House is bailed out by his friend James Wilson (Robert Sean Leonard), and assumes that Tritter has had his revenge...

Better: Tritter reappears in the following episode, Que Sera Sera. House is bailed out by his friend James Wilson (Robert Sean Leonard), and assumes that Tritter has had his revenge...

Keep it in perspective for the reader, who is not going to understand these are different episodes, et al. Small details such as "Tritter ends the conversation by saying "You've failed", leaving Cuddy in the file-room with a chastened, wide-eyed stare on her face.[14] " don't really add much to the reader's understanding and can be removed to slim down the plot summary.

I'm putting this article on hold pending improvements as listed above. --Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs^(talk) 17:15, 12 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Just butting in briefly - I'm assuming that fictional characters would follow the naming conventions for people and thus the additional qualifier "detective" shouldn't be included in the title... ? Agree? —97198 (talk) 13:46, 14 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Yeah that's seems true, I'd suggest a move.--Music26/11 14:59, 14 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments on GA review

I've tried to improve the article based on your comments, but there are still some points left.
References

I've replaced this ref with an episode ref.
this link seems reliable to me due to it's use in David Morse and Gregory House, wich are both GAs. Plus it's an interview, so I don't think it can be unreliable.
I just assumed that, this link would be reliable since there's no sufficient information for the article taken from it, and the only information that's in the article was written for the website.

Note

I don't understand what you're getting at with the "said that Tritter deserved to have the thermometer in his butt a little longer" part being unclear, could you be a bit more specific.

Slimming down the "Storyline" section
I could really use some input in this, I've tried to make it smaller before I saved the page in the first place, but the information is pretty necessary and I don't know how I can make it smaller. The image of House getting arrested can be deleted after the "Storyline" section is made smaller, because I only uploaded it to compromise with the lenght of the section.

I'd like to hear from you soon.--Music26/11 14:59, 14 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I went through the plot and slimmed it down a bit, as well as removing the plot citations for each episode. My basic suggestion is one paragraph per episode, and if you want to the citations to put it at the end of the paragraph to cap off the entire episode recap. Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs^(talk) 18:19, 14 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Well, this sounds like a good idea, but the section has five paragraphs while Tritter appeared in six episodes, so it's practically already up to your standards.--Music26/11 15:54, 16 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

As I said, that's why you should look over my edits, as I wasn't exactly sure where one episode started and another began. Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs^(talk) 15:56, 16 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I made a little table below, to show you wich paragraph covers wich episode.

Paragraph 1	"Fools for Love"
Paragraph 2	"Que Sera Sera" (from "Tritter reappears..." to "...he's absolutely sure")
Paragraph 2	"Son of a Coma Guy" (from "At the end of the episode..." to "...but they all refuse")
Paragraph 2	"Whac-a-Mole" (from "Tritter has Wilson's car towed..." to "...shut down his practice")
Paragraph 2	"Finding Judas" ("Since House can't get..." to "..."I'm gonna need thirty pieces of silver"." (wich is the end of paragraph three))
Paragraph 3	"Finding Judas"
Paragraph 4	"Merry Little Christmas"
Paragraph 5	"Words and Deeds"

Note: Tritter never appeared in "Whac-a-mole" but the consequences of his actions are still noticed.--Music26/11 13:40, 17 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

That's better. Like I said, you can re-add the citations at the end of the episodes to make it clearer if you want. Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs^(talk) 14:04, 17 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Done, is there anything else that needs to be done before GA passing?--Music26/11 10:41, 18 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

What I mean by "...said that Tritter deserved to have the thermometer in his butt a little longer." as unclear is that the reader has to guess as to what the reviewer is saying. Is he/she saying that the character was an ass? Or something else? Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs^(talk) 15:06, 18 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Got it, is it better now?--Music26/11 16:55, 18 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Yeah, that is. I'll take a final lookover later on today or this weekend. Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs^(talk) 17:15, 18 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks.--Music26/11 19:15, 18 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]