Talk:1999 Pacific typhoon season/GA1

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Reviewer: Hurricanehink (talk · contribs) 01:19, 24 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I guess I'll review it, since it's been up for a while.

  • For starters, the lede should be rewritten. What is there is what the template used to be, but it's not that helpful. It doesn't describe the season at all. The lede should summarize the whole article, so when I look at it, I expect seeing info on various storms and some stats.
  • Another general rule of thumbs is that the default info for storms should be using the Japan Meteorological Agency. Meaning, you'll have to use the data here, and make sure that you clarify what is in 10-min winds and what is in 1-min winds. If you have difficulty with this, ask me and I can help. Check 2002 Pacific typhoon season for reference. You could even make it simple by saying all wind speeds are in 10-min sustained (once you get the JMA intensities in, that is).
    • I have done my best to convert the default info. Unfortunately, some of the season's storms are not in the JMA best track. Hurricane Andrew (444) 13:32, 6 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]
      • Can you indicate which ones didn't? And say what you did? Like, when it said "a tropical depression formed", is that per JMA? Or JTWC? --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 16:30, 8 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • ."for a developing broad circulation which stretched out" - which --> that
  • You mention "the Borneo coast" twice in consecutive sentences. Try some variety.
  • For Iris, you say when there is a TCFA, but not when a TD formed.
  • You don't have to say things like "Tropical Storm Iris had no effects on land". You similarly don't mention that Iris had no psychological impact on monkeys in Africa :P
  • Where was the rainfall from Jacob?
  • "Kate brought torrential rain to the north-east of Japan" - so not over Japan, or what?
    • The citation did not mention anything about Kate bringing rain to Japan. I assume the writer meant the east-central Philippines, as that is what is proven in the reference. Hurricane Andrew (444) 11:29, 26 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The peak winds recorded on Iwo Jima were 95 km/h (60 mph), with gusts of up to 126 km/h (78 mph)." - this is unsourced
  • "Leo made landfall on May 2 as a tropical depression, after the convection had become separated from the circulation of the storm and soon dissipated overland." - bit of a run-on
  • Were there any effects by Leo in mainland China?
    • I could not find anything on Leo's impact outside of Hong Kong. Hurricane Andrew (444) 12:36, 6 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "killed at two with another 5 people" - numbers less than ten should be spelled out. Make sure this is the case for the whole article.
  • You should indicate in prose that JMA classified "Unnamed Tropical Storm (07W)" as a TS.
    • Done. Hurricane Andrew (444) 22:58, 24 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]
      • My issue here is that you still only cite JTWC, which can't be the case since you're also including JMA data. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 16:30, 8 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • Optional, but you might want to put the TD's into an "Other storms" section.
    • Done. Hurricane Andrew (444) 13:32, 6 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]
      • Thanks. Would it work, in your opinion, to get rid of the infoboxes? I hate to keep reminding it, but check out 2002 Pacific typhoon season, how all of the TD's are in one section, written in prose without an infobox, with the exception of when the depressions caused notable damage. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 16:30, 8 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "south of Okinawa. The depression passed near to the Japanese island" - this is weird, since there is no indication Okinawa belongs to Japan
  • "A tropical disturbance began to develop in the South China Sea on July 23 within the same monsoon trough that Tropical Storm Neil would develop from to the east" - a bit long. Try rewriting shorter.
  • Watch for overlinking. That should be simple.
  • Link for "T'aean Peninsula"?
    • There is no Wikipedia article for the "T'aean Peninsula". I do not want to put in a red link. Hurricane Andrew (444) 11:29, 26 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]
      • But did you check for another article that could be linked to? --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 16:30, 8 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "400 square kilometres (150 sq mi)" - both units should be abbreviated.
  • "The Red Cross reported a further 42 deaths and 40,000 were made homeless from flooding in North Korea and that the flooding worsened the ongoing food shortages in the country" - bit long, try rewriting a bit.
  • "Early in August, a low-level circulation center within a monsoon gyre to the southwest of Guam." - verb?
  • "and began to merge with the gyre from which it had formed. As it merged with the gyre" - a bit redundant
  • "The depression moved to the west brushing the south coast of Kyūshū on August 6 before dissipating in the Yellow Sea." - something missing here? Maybe a comma or something
  • Any more impact from Paul?
  • "moved to the north under the influence of a subtropical ridge over northern Japan" - usually ridges don't cause storms to move to the north. Is this right?
  • "The storm dissipated on August 18 but its remnants were recognisable for a further two days" - what does the dissipation mean here?
  • "As the cyclone continued to intensify becoming Tropical Storm Sam on August 19, the subtropical ridge to the north shifted its track in a westwards direction towards Luzon. " - bit long/unorganized
  • "Typhoon Sam was responsible for 7 deaths in the Philippines[35] and flooding from its rainfall displaced over 4000 people and landslides closed many major roads near Baguio City" - run-on
  • "; exceeding the previous record set in 1926" - if you have a semicolon, it needs to be able to function as an independent sentence; in this case, it doesn't.
  • " total damage in Hong Kong totalled " - department of redundancy department?
    • I am not exactly receiving your point here. I reowrded the sentence. Hurricane Andrew (444) 22:58, 24 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]
      • You have "total... totaled" - it's redundant saying both :P --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 16:30, 8 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The final advisory from the Central Pacific Hurricane Center, while Dora was still in the eastern Pacific as a minimal hurricane." - incomplete sentence
    • Corrected. Hurricane Andrew (444) 22:58, 24 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]
      • Thanks. Here is another instance that shows bias toward JTWC when it shouldn't - " the JTWC assumed responsibility for the storm". Technically, the JMA assumed responsibility, since they're the official warning center. You could say JTWC, but you need to say JMA here. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 16:30, 8 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "On August 21, a small tropical cyclone developed " - why does infobox say a day earlier?
    • The reference claimed the depression formed on August 21, so I fixed that issue. Hurricane Andrew (444) 11:29, 26 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • What is a "shear line"?
  • "The JMA monitored Typhoon Virgil and made it a minimal severe tropical storm at its peak." - source?

That's it through Wendy. Lemme know when you finish that so I can continue. Cheers! --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 01:19, 24 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]

  • "The JTWC issued a TCFA... and it developed into..." implies that the JTWC developed. Watch for wording :P
  • "The depression did not intensify as it moved to the northwest brushing the northeast tip of Luzon on September 2." - add comma
  • ." It maintained this intensity until it made landfall in China 220 km (140 mi) east-northeast of Hong Kong the next day. " - there is no indication here what "the next day" means, since there is no date in this or the previous sentence.
  • "fuelled" --> "fueled"
  • "with Wenzhou being particularly badly hit" - could probably be written better.
  • "$275 million" - you should mention somewhere how you deal with damage totals.
  • "18 people were killed in landslides in northern Luzon" - you should avoid starting sentences with a number
  • What are "direct economic losses"?
  • You should try and get a damage total for Hong Kong for York. As of now, it sounds like $10 million, and then compared to the rest of China having $24 million, it makes me wonder why there is so much attention on HK and less for rest of China.
    • Clarified. Hurricane Andrew (444) 11:41, 1 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]
      • Ehh, not so sure it is. It'd be nice having the Hong Kong dollar converted to USD, and it's still unclear whether the economic losses from York is the same or different from the $10 million USD. I think that'd help clarify everything. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 16:30, 8 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "about 165 km (103 mi)" - watch out for rounding
    • According to the convert template, that is the correct conversion. Hurricane Andrew (444) 11:41, 1 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]
      • You shouldn't be using the convert template though :P 103 isn't a rounded number. You should just write it out so both are divisible by 5. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 16:30, 8 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • What were the origins of Ann? Trough? (don't guess though)
  • "Bart intensified further as it turned to the northeast under the influence of upper-level winds." - usually upper-level winds don't help intensification, so how
  • What does " and further $5 million of damage to the Japanese economy" mean?
  • "It developed into the 25th depression of the season" - according to JTWC or JMA? If JMA, remember that they don't include TD's in the best track.
  • " The depression gradually intensified becoming Tropical Storm Cam on September 24 and reaching its peak with 75 km/h (45 mph) later that day, as its motion gradually turned towards the north." - bit long. Could use some more commas and some splitting up.
    • Split up into three sentences and added in a couple of commas. Hurricane Andrew (444) 11:41, 1 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "As Tropical Storm Cam approached Hong Kong, the HKO hoisted the No. 8 Signal for the fifth time in the year, the last time this had occurred was in 1964." - I'm not sure, but I think this could use a semicolon after year.
  • "There was some disruption to flights into the territory, with 100 flights cancelled or delayed" - no need to mention "flights" twice
  • "and Dan set these back efforts back." - not sure what you're going for
  • How can a storm "damage a large number of trees"? I can see if it knocked them down, but damaged?
  • Saying where "Agrihan" is would help TD 28's section. Also, what is " tail-end of shearline"
    • A.) Done. B.) I wikilinked "Shear line" before, and I reworded the sentence. Hurricane Andrew (444) 11:41, 1 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • The track of Frankie suggests there is probably more impact.
  • "A suspect area of low pressure" - suspect?
  • " A subtropical ridge to the north of the system determined the motion of the storm as it moved southwest" - could be simpler
  • Again, all of the TD's could be put into a singular "Other storms" section. See any of the recent Pacific typhoon articles.
  • In general, with regards to my first comment, you shouldn't mention TD 07W or whatever for the TD stage, since that gives too much credence to the JTWC, even though JMA is the official warning center. And again, make sure throughout the article that you clarify whether winds are in 1-min or 10-min. They should be 10-min if they're from the JMA.
    • As above, I will clarify the information later on once the lede is rewritten. Hurricane Andrew (444) 11:41, 1 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]
    • I have fixed the comment regarding TD 07W. Hurricane Andrew (444) 13:32, 6 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]

That's it for my first look through the article. Mostly minor things, but a few big things that need to be done (notably what's immediately above). Cheers! --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 21:26, 29 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]

To clarify, and what could be the biggest thing that needs to be done, the article needs to be converted from JTWC to JMA, meaning all of the winds in the article should have JMA as a default (and possibly add it as a note that they're from there, and they're in 10 minute winds, see 2002 Pacific typhoon season). I could help with the process, but I'm afraid I'd have to stop my review if so. You're welcome to withdraw, and I'd help you in the conversion, since you did a good job with the prose. Just throwing it out there. And it shouldn't take as long next time to get it reviewed. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:36, 5 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Looking much better already. Just some more JMA converting needed, and I added a few other replies above. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 16:30, 8 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Do you have any questions about the outstanding issues? --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 02:42, 15 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Are you still working on the article? It's quite close, but if work isn't continued, then I'll have to fail the GAN. It's been up for a month now. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 20:29, 26 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]

How much more time is left before the GAN gets failed? I will need to find some time to work on it in the coming days. Hurricane Andrew (444) 12:46, 27 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Well, it has been up for a month. How long til you think you can finish it? --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 13:02, 27 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]
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